This probably should have been the beginning of the blog, but as some of you know you, I'm not necessarily the most organized person. 😊 I've been coming to CB a long time, years in fact. I started out, as many of you, for one reason. Anonymous at first, then as a registered viewer, I began to chat (yes i know , now i never shut up!) As time passed I grew to find friends there, and slowly, you gave me the courage to broadcast. A loose knit group of people developed, bouncing around from each others rooms. We became an extended family. A support group. A place to go to share the good times, and bad.
Spring of 2017, we lost a member of our family. Behrinthewoods passed away suddenly. Some of you knew Behr very well. Some newer members of our "gang' never had the privilege of meeting him online. I wish I had gotten to know him better. We lived in the same state, we shared a lot of the same upbringings. I wish I had had the courage to reach out to him, to suggest meeting in person. I like to think we could've been friends. I don't know a lot about his life. He always seemed so happy. It was always uplifting being in his room. I suspect things were not always rosy in his life,,, it rarely is, in any ones.
Behrs death made me take a look at my life. The fear of stepping out of my comfort zone, of meeting people in general. Hiding behind a computer screen. Rural Pennsylvania is not exactly the gay mecca of the USA. Growing up here at times was a living hell. Fortunately things have gotten better, but old habits die hard. I realized I could spend the rest of my life this way, or I could learn a lesson from his death. I decided I wanted to try to change things, to reach out and be more a part of life. To not be afraid.
The get together in June is a part of that change. I want to give people in our "gang' a chance to meet in person, to strengthen those bonds of friendship we have made on CB. I want to bring together our family - for that is what you are to me. You have supported me over the years, and literally have saved my life, and sanity.
I named the blog Behrinthewoodstock as a tribute to him, and to continue to remind myself to live life to the fullest.
rest in peace Behr
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